I'm not one of those people
Today my dog, Oscar, and I were having a lovely walk. We were going through a little field of flowers near the park, when I noticed that Oscar was carrying something yellow in his mouth. Since there were tons of buttercups around, I assumed he was eating a flower. It's a reasonable assumption since he's like a little Hoover, sucking up everything in his path. As we strolled by random-neighborhood folks, I noticed that we were getting some really strange smiles. I thought I was being paranoid, until a women said, "Oh, my goodness--well isn't that just darling". Now, she didn't say "isn't he darling"; she said "isn't that darling". WTF. I looked down at Oscar, and, to my horror, the yellow object in his mouth wasn't a flower--it was a pacifier! Where did he find a pacifier??? Oh, my God. All the people in the neighborhood will think that I've gone over the babyless deep end. Don't get me wrong, I do dress Oscar up occasionally, but I would never let him walk around with a pacifier. I'm not one of those Paris Hilton-wannabes. At least not when it comes to my dog.
My battle to seem normal is a lost cause, I think. Sometimes you have to realize that you're not in control; someone else is steering this ship, and we don't seem to be on the same page.