Sunday, June 12, 2005

Ask the Expert

When a lawyer goes to a party, she knows that, upon telling people her occupation, there is a pretty good chance that she will be asked for legal advice concerning some ridiculous issue.

When a doctor goes to a party, he knows that, upon telling people his occupation, there is a pretty good chance that he will be asked for medical advice concerning some disgusting fungus, rash, or pain.

When an account goes to a party...you get the idea.

Well, you know what? Boo-fuckin'-hoo. At least you have some idea of what random question you may be asked. Since no one really knows what I do for a living, they feel that they can ask me anything that even remotely seems to fall in my field. I get asked about everything from knee pain, psychiatric problems, cancer treatments, and amphibian communication to the effects of the tea in China. I never know what crazy question that I will be expected to answer, with a crowd of beady-little eyes looking at me, waiting for the divine knowledge to just flow from my brain.

Yesterday, however, I was so taken aback by the questions, I just stared blankly.

First question: Oh, so you're one of those Dr./science people. I have a question for you. Why do men have nipples?

Second question: Yadda, yadda, yadda...So I was reading about people being born with both sex organs and the Dr. having to decide what gender to make the baby...which would you choose...you know, like...which do you think would be better for that child's success...

Speechless...never in my life until now. I'm not sure what was more hilarious (or disturbing): the question or the seriousness of the person asking the question.

I'll leave my answers for another post. Yes, I answered the questions as best as I could. If you are going to ask such a random question, you are going to get a random (often made up) answer.

Just be glad that you are asked advice on how to win a property dispute or on how to get rid of the green funk on someone's toe. Never a dull moment...never:)

15 Comments:

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Jessica said...

Oh what I would pay to be a fly on the wall at that party....that is hysterical!

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger trisha said...

hahaha! Good writing. Boo-fuckin'-hoo.

I would so love to hang out with you!

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

I'm really not very fun in person. I tend to spend a lot of time rocking in the fetal position.

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Is blogging not making you more fun in person? Give it some time. Real people are just like fonts.

 
At 3:04 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Well, being a real person is making me have more fun blogging--I'm not sure, however, if the reverse is true. I do often feel italicized, as though I'm about to fall over.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger trisha said...

No wonder I can never find a font I am completely satisfied with!

 
At 6:00 PM, Blogger BrightStar said...

HA HA HA -- real people are just like fonts? awesome.

I think blogging has helped me see ways in which most of us feel kind of about to fall over all of the time, so it has helped me be able to connect with people in my new city.

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Weee...welcome Murky Thoughts and Brightstar! (sorry I forgot to welcome you earlier) I noticed Murky has a lot of funny, off-the-wall one liners. Me thinks me smells a competition...

by the way Brighstar--I love the layout of your site.

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

I don't even need to think to compete for the imaginary prize for cleverest quip. I'm just always going for it. The burden is more putting a cork in it, so that whoever is speaking can register his or her petty concern about human rights violations or whatever, just so that nobody dies for the sake of a pun, witty as it undoubtedly would be.

 
At 7:28 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

touche--don't think I don't get your Murky thoughts.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

ps. Who said the prize is imaginary? I was under the impression that there would be a cash-prize after everything was said and done...have I been misled?

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

"don't think I don't get your Murky thoughts"

What's that? You're making me worried.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

I'm just saying I get your humor (usually), and that I won't be offended when you comment on my posts concerning human rights and/or dolphin communication. Your cork can remain free. Am I really that scary that I caused you worry?

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Not scary. I thought you might be saying you'd sussed out my real life identity, which is vaguely conceivable to the paranoid mind, seeing as I do have a few glowing neurons in my past. I doubt I know you though...unless you were that person in glasses at SFN. I don't go to those meetings anymore and still regret I never learned everybody's name.

 
At 6:44 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Were you the one with DNA tattoo? I was not the one with the glasses; I was, however, the one with the poster so now you've found me out.

 

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