Monday, June 13, 2005

Evil Woman with Evil Dog

So, in past posts I've mentioned this nasty woman who lives in my neighborhood and who has an even nastier dog. I've tried to be nice to her and give her the "smile then quickly look at the ground" sign of hospitality, but she never displays anything other than a grimace. Her dog tried to eat my little Oscar, and I've never had a dog dislike mine before. To make matters worse, this woman actually acted like there was something wrong with Oscar (even though he wasn't the one barking and growling).

I can handle her social ineptitude; I can not, however, tolerate the fact that she lets her dog mull my azaleas. Yes, you've heard it before, but it's getting worse. Today, I actually banged on my window when it was happening--there was no way she didn't hear it.

I'm going to set a trap (a non-lethal, non-painful one of course). I haven't figured out what yet, but I will...

6 Comments:

At 6:51 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

How about fencing off the azaleas from the dog with one of those little coated wire jobbies they sell at garden stores and then blowing away the owner with a shotgun.

 
At 8:08 PM, Blogger trisha said...

I just go ahead and yell at the dog people. I yell. I holler. bastards. I don't want the poop in my yard.

You should just yell. She is already unpleasant. What will you lose?

 
At 8:07 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

MT: Hmmmm...fencing off the azaleas is an option, but it wouldn't stop the dog from blasting it's toxic urine on them. I'd like to stay away from electric fences because I have some bad memories of them. The shotgun thing may get me arrested, and I really don't like jail. Tazers are illegal here (although you can have a concealed weapon, go figure) so I can't even resort to that without facing charges...I know, I know--I have no guts.

Trisha: I would yell, but I feel as though there has been a debate in the neighborhood over my sanity. My husband really wants me to get along with everyone this time around and to not frighten them too badly. Of course, if I'm setting a trap, I guess I have already established that I don't care how crazy I look. I suppose that I should try to talk to her about it before I get my panties all up in a bunch. She's just so very unpleasant. Damn you for making be rational.

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Is pee truly bad for azaleas? This is starting to sound like a religious war.

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger trisha said...

I am like that. Those who can't teach.

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Is pee bad for azaleas? It's right there in Luke or Mark or whatever.

Seriously, the pee turns it yellow (no pun intended). It's not the peeing that is the worst part. The dog actually mulls the bush--as in, it rips it apart. Moreover, there are laws about leaving turd bombs in these here parts.

 

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