My dad is kind of...different. I've mentioned him before in this blog, so most of you will know what I mean. Due to his...unique qualities, Father's Day has always been extraordinarily difficult. What do you get a man who doesn't have the typical-Dad hobbies?
One year I gave my dad some Biohazard and H.I.V. labeling tape (that I paid for out of pocket). I don't know why he wanted it so bad since he knows that he can't use it on anything, especially anything that would go out in the trash. He just wanted the tape so that he could show his buddies and to say he had it.
I refuse to get him another trucker/mesh hat. He has enough to supply an entire militia of mullet-bearing red-necks. Everyone knows he's a union man, and, due to the shiny Steelworker's of America jacket that he always has on, they know he's a badass. He doesn't need any more hats to advertise these facts.
He's not allowed to own another gun via mom's orders. He doesn't have anywhere left to hide a gun, and having guns just lying around the house in plain view of Brother1 is a little dangerous as evidenced by the hole in their closet wall. I found a gun in his bill drawer and his candy cupboard last time I was home,-- it's just gotten out of hand. Maybe if he'd lock the doors, or if he even knew where the house keys were, he wouldn't need so many guns.
I can't get him candy since the doctor is not sure how much more belly my dad's two little stick legs can handle. It's sad that my dad believes that spring break means getting out of work for 3-weeks to have another stomach, back, etc. operation. He absolutely has to lose some weight so I can't supply him with anything sugar-based. I've been waiting for quintuplets to pop out of his womb for years now...
Father's day is rough. Any suggestions?