Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Prom Date No-Shows

I was watching Grosse Pointe Blank yesterday when I should have been reading an article on histone codes and the ensuing genetic alterations (I know, tough decision). When I first saw the movie, I felt so bad for Minnie Driver's character. She spent 10-years wondering why her prom date stood her up. Yesterday, however, my sympathy well ran dry.

1.) At least you had a prom date
2.) At least you didn't pay for your own prom ticket ($65, thank you very much)
3.) At least you didn't have to drive your own ass to the prom
4.) At least you didn't drive your ass to the prom in your mom's boat (a.k.a. the cutlass sierra)
5.) At least they didn't order your dress in a size 14 when you needed a size 4.
6.) At least you didn't realize that your dress was completely see-through way after the fact.
7.) At least you got to curl up on your couch and pout instead of sitting on a chair at the prom like a moron wondering where your last-minute date went.
8.) At least you don't have to look at the pictures from your husband's prom where he took his buxom-blonde date to the event in a limo. (I bet she didn't pay for her own ticket).
9.) At least your mom wasn't in charge of the afterprom.
10.) At least you didn't have some newspaper prick take your picture at the afterprom and put it on the front page of the newspaper. Do you know the jokes that I endured? (the afterprom was not for the cool kids back then).

This is what happens when I'm stressed about experiments. I get really angry about things that shouldn't matter anymore. Writing these things down really makes them start to seem rather funny--I feel better already.

14 Comments:

At 8:45 AM, Blogger James said...

I can't really say anything after reading each bullet and going "Owwwwww!". It sounds trite, but I think you know me in a cybersense well enough to know that it's not coming from a trite place or anything tritely at all:

I felt your pain. Owwwwwwwww ...

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you pain. These things are so silly and in the past--They just pop up when I'm stressed about the lab.

It's funny because my husband refuses to believe that I was the dorky girl who was cute but too dorky to date. He's in nerd-denial. He says "well, you couldn't have been that dorky because you were on prom court". I don't have the heart to tell him that I got onto the court because I won the 9th-grade the gear-head vote. High school freshman boys didn't care how dorky the senior girls were and gear heads like any girl who a.) listens to heavy metal and b.)who isn't a cheerleader. The joys of highschool in podunk town, USA.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

Oh, SFTR...that's awful!

You should create a new memory (yeah, yeah - I know it's corny). You and your hubby could take ballroom dancing or something and then you could both get all gussied up and go someplace really special to show off your new moves.

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Look at this way, all those limousine driven prom queens now that they're old have nothing to blog about--or they'd just bore us if they did. Like Chekhov said, all happy proms are the same, but all bad prom experiences are bad in their own way.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

I'm not too worried about it--I just was angry at Minnie's character for not seeing how much worse it could have been. I wish the prom was the worst thing that happened in my life. It's really quite funny to look back on it now; it's funny how those things seem so big at the time when they are really so small.

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger trisha said...

At least no one dropped a bucket of blood on your head.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

No, I was a dork, but I was still liked by almost everyone.

 
At 1:25 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

ps Good point.

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Heh. My friend J and I used to have this joke in college. It probably won't translate, but here goes: Neither of us ever went to a prom. Or really dated. Ohhh yeah. Smart theatre/debate girls. So we pictured ourselves in the future, as mothers, with our daughters entering their high-school years and asking us for advice. Here's how the conversation went:
"Mom, what sort of dress did YOU wear to your first prom?" "Uh, I never went to a..." "What?" "Red. Red dress."
Well, it always made US laugh...

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

That's funny PK. It definitely made me laugh.

 
At 1:53 AM, Blogger Sarahlynn said...

"At least you didn't drive your ass to the prom in your mom's boat (a.k.a. the cutlass sierra")

Oh, yes I did. That was the *good* car. My mom's car that we always wanted to drive but were only allowed to borrow on Very Special Occasions. And I still haven't forgiven my poor little prom date for not being able to drive me himself because his dad's car was a stick shift and he couldn't drive stick (neither of us were allowed to own our own cars). I'm not saying that I was *nice* in high school. At least not to him.

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

In my town, the prom is a really big deal since nothing ever happens there. There's a huge grand march where all the prom-goers parade through the town park so that family and friends can take pictures. Then, with help from the 2-town police officers, we line up in our cars along the main street in town. We then drive to the country club where the prom is held (25 miles away) in a huge line of cars led by the police. Oh yes, picture it. Limo, limo, corvette, mustang, cutlass....

I really shouldn't make fun of my mom's car since she did let me drive it a lot. It was also much better than driving my dad's truck which was duct taped together--you could actually see the road below you through the holes in the floor.

 
At 10:51 AM, Blogger trisha said...

Oh, my. That is a little crazy.

 
At 3:02 AM, Blogger Sarahlynn said...

We did the promenade too, but get this - it was at the County Fairgrounds. So in all of our finery we actually promenaded around the same ring where livestock are presented to bidders at auction. Beautiful.

 

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