Thursday, June 23, 2005

Translation for Men

When you are watching Beauty and the Geek with your chick, do not turn to her and say "You could be on this show as either one hon--you would definitely win".

Your brain: I'm telling her that she is hot and really smart. I rock; I am so getting laid.

Her brain: So he's saying that I could be a pretty girl who gets lost in her own bathroom because she's so dumb, or I could be the really ugly and socially inept dork. Oh, this is just like the time he said he thought (insert actress name here) was cute. I bet she didn't even graduate high school. Of course he likes pretty-dumb girls like (insert ex-girlfriend's name from 10-years ago here). He knows how sensitive I am about being a dork--why does he bring it up...doesn't he get me at all? Oh, and I never did tell him that it wasn't nice to say his mom's stuffed-shells were the best he's ever tasted. It will be a cold day in hell before I slave in the kitchen making homemade pasta and sauce for him. That's it--No sex for him.

Study, learn, and don't do it again.

12 Comments:

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

You know God punishes wives who don't fulfill their conjugal duties? (Yeah, I'm an atheist, but so what?)

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Interesting..er..religion you have for yourself. Looks like atheists are pretty screwed since they have no one to punish wives who won't put out. How do you know that I'm not God? How do I know that I'm not God? You should watch the Amazon short-film, "The World's Smartest Man".

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Well, valiantly and without regard for personal bandwidth I did watch it--twice!--and I do not get it. Now I think you must be God and punishing me. I did know though that it's supposed to be very bad luck to marry a Kumari. I once had a nice long case of dysentary just down the street from one.

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger trisha said...

I don't really get it, either.

 
At 11:20 PM, Blogger trisha said...

My husband has a bad habit of using the word "fine" as his major descriptor.

Never, never tell me I look fine or that my post was fine.

No sex for fine.

 
At 7:35 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Murky: Ahh, little grasshopper--let me explain. You said that God punishes wives yadda, yadda, yadda. I said "how do you know that I'm not God (or you're not God)". Using the male rationale in the movie (I refuse to respect personal bandwith since I'm inconsiderate about such things) we don't know. I most certainly wouldn't punish myself now, would I? I hate when my jokes seem funny at the time but then turn out to be stupid.

Trisha: That's too funny. I think my husband knows better than to ever use the word fine--his mom trained him well.

 
At 10:28 AM, Blogger trisha said...

Oh, okay. I missed that exchange between the two of you.

Got it. And it *is* funny.

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Is not, is not, is not!

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Murky: "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, I can't hear you" Boy that's just as fun now as it was when I was 5.

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger trisha said...

And, really, you can't hear.

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Sometimes I can't hear. That's a different story though.

 
At 11:22 PM, Blogger trisha said...

Sometimes I am in parenthesis.

 

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