Saturday, June 18, 2005

The Value of A Quarter

For those of you who don't get to do much benchwork, I thought I'd give you a glimpse into the exciting, CSI-like nature of what I do.

7:00am -- 7:30 am: Play with rats--try not to get rat urine or poo on your new, Payless shoes.

7:30am -- 9:00 am: Test rats

9:00am -- 10:00 am: Dig through refrigerator (past the food that is not supposed to be in there. WTF, who put food in here?) to find tubes containing rat brains.

10:00am -- 10:30am: Play with dry ice (it never gets old). Put dry ice pieces into tubes, shut tubes, and put them outside neighbor's office (go home dude, it's Saturday). Run around the corner giggling and wait for the container to pop, scaring the begeezus out of neighbor. Laugh while running away.

10:30 -- 10:45: Dig through your backpack for quarters. Get excited that you found the post-it note that you wrote your oh-so-important lab notes on last week.

10:45 -- 11:00: clean quarters with alcohol--try to resist drinking the alcohol (just kidding)

11:00 -- 12:00: Wrap quarters in foil, making a foil "cup". Place quarter cup on dry ice. Place brains into cup, fill with chemical crap, and wait for brains to freeze.

12:00--5:00: Take brains off of quarters and cut into very thin slices. Put slices on microscope slides.

5:00 -- 6:00: Clean up

6:00: Put the quarters used in today's adventures into the metro bus fare meter. Smile at the secret knowledge that the world is using quarters that used to have brains on them (which is much better than dollars that have seen a stripper's butt crack).

ps: Today's Tip on How to Be A Serious Scientist

If you are going to go to work barely dressed because it's so damn hot outside and because you have come to the conclusion that no one will be there on a Saturday morning, you had better make sure that all of your lab coats are not out for cleaning. It bothers me that someone on this floor now knows what my belly button looks like--disturbing thought.


At 9:44 AM, Blogger Murky Thoughts said...

Gives a whole new meaning to the March of Dimes. BTW, I hope you aren't popping tubes on public money. We want you to research mental health, not experience it.

At 10:06 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

I only used grade-A, reject tubes (the ones that fall on the floor or get touched with bare hands). Most people throw them away, but I believe in conservation and reuse. I have been guilty of making a balloon animal or two out of gloves, but I never said I was the best employee...

At 1:20 PM, Blogger trisha said...

Ha! You are fun. I'll bet you have a Very Nice Navel.


Post a Comment

<< Home