I missed the free coffee because I was looking for monkeys
So, I'm trying to start over with a positive attitude. I keep repeating our little lab mantra "it is what it is" and swallowing down lumps of frustration in a way that would make Marge Simpson proud. I ignored the fact that all of our deliveries piled up, unopened, while I was gone. I tried to pacify our rotation students, who are ready to rebel against the lab PI for his lack of mentorship, lack of knowledge and/or help, and inappropriate behavior (even though they've only been here for two months), for hours in a very diplomatic way. They kept asking me how my labmate and I have survived in this lab all of these years. I just smiled and said, "fortitude with a big heaping scoop of passive aggressiveness". Any situation will have its problems--the grass is always greener and all that jazz.
I just need to make it through a few more months without turning back into the angry beast I was a few weeks ago. I can do it.
On a lighter note, I realized today how many people here are so wonderful to me for no particular reason. The delivery people are like my family and are always doing extra things for me just to be nice. Our safety inspection people give me candy and hold the shuttle for me when I'm running behind. They are always asking me how my project is going, and they want to come to my defense. Our office supply guy greets me every morning with a smile and a hello and always gives me whatever freebies he has at the moment. The coffee shop kids give me extra stamps on my card just because they think I look "down" and they think getting a PhD is special. Crazy rabbits.
In turn, I also realized today that the support we need to keep moving forward can come from the most unlikely of places. It is ridiculous for me to walk around upset that I'm not getting help from my mentor and that my lab is a very bad place to be right now when so many people are going out of their way to create a "safe" zone for me.
It's like those people who go on wildlife tours and get all upset that they didn't see any monkeys. They go on and on about not seeing any monkeys and about the tour being a big waste of their time. They spend so much time focusing on the lack of poo-flinging monkeys that they don't see all of the other, amazing wildlife around them. OK, so maybe you have a better analogy, but this was mine so I'm sticking by it.
There, I posted. Are you happy;)