Things I Learned in the Last 48 hr
You should always know how high water will splash on impact after falling any given distance before going camping, as you will most definitely be using an outhouse.
DEET-free bugsprays are for suckers and hippies who love to be bitten by West-Nile filled bombers.
Always carry your own roll of toilet paper with you even if your campground boasts of its clean and friendly "bathrooms".
People don't care if eating burnt marshmellows causes cancer so don't tell them all about it unless you want them to think you are crazy. The same goes for hotdogs.
You can make a golf club out of a stick, a rock, and some tent string. You can also make one out of a Pringles can, duct tape, and a small tree--don't forget to tape the lid on if you decide to make your can heavier by filling it with rocks.
Spiders are evil. You do not need a hole in your tent for them to get in. They have magic powers allowing them to transport themselves through all barriers. It hurts when they bite--I'd rather be bitten by a rat.