Tuesday, September 20, 2005

I need a stamper

I need a stamper--you know, the old-school kind that you press onto an inkpad and stamp your papers with. I need it to say the following:

If you do all of the following, I will in no way write you a letter of recommendation for medical school:

a.) neglect to show up to class consistently and/or on time
b.) neglect to do your work and then try to hand it in 3-weeks late claiming you didn't know about the assignment because you "were late for class the day it was handed out, didn't see it on the syllabus because it was "hidden", and didn't know it was also listed on the website". (I know you never checked the website because I have access to that information)
c.) neglect to show up for your make-up assignment
d.) neglect to call me to tell me that you aren't going to show up for your make-up assignment
e.) demand that you be able to make-up your make-up assignment instead of pleading for my mercy
f.) send me nasty emails because I decided to take a few days to consider your demands and excuses
g.) fail your first, really easy exams with the excuse that it's "all so confusing for you because you aren't a science major" and then ace the last, really hard exam to save your grade
h.) do your homework after you get to class
i.) fail to be in the top 5% of your class when you have the capability of being in the top 1% but are too lazy?/cocky?/unorganized? to strive for excellence in learning

There is a reason why there are so many duds who get into medical school, make it through medical school, and then go on to be scary, sub par doctors. The reason is all of us--we let them. We feel bad for them and make excuses for them and are afraid to get the nasty email and/or confrontation that I'm waiting for in response to my "I'm sorry, but it ain't happening" email.

We are the key to the future. Don't blame me when they take our your bladder instead of your kidney. I did my part.

9 Comments:

At 4:29 PM, Blogger AAYOR said...

Wonder if it would make a difference if you put this on Blackboard/Webct for them to see.... Nah, doubt it.

 
At 4:57 PM, Blogger DJ said...

Wow, that strikes a nerve...

Blackboard's tracking feature, along with my instution's use of a web-based roster system (which I'm guessing you use as well), is POWER.

"Prof. DJ, I couldn't make office hours because I had class" - Yet you don't, and I KNOW you don't.

"Prof. DJ, I don't know HOW I could have failed the exam, as I did everything possible to do well" - Yet you DIDN'T download the lecture outlines and other online material until 14 hours before the exam.

Argh.

DJ

 
At 6:20 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Don't forget this excuse: "I couldn't do the assignment because a robber broke into my house, resulting in me having to stay up all night with campus security".

Do they think that I don't have a phone and a directory? Do they think that I won't call to verify their excuse? I am a damn good poker player and I know a bluff when I see one.

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger Piece of Work said...

Wow, if I knew I could try to coerce my professors into grades in college, I might have done better. But probably not, since the thought of me "coercing" anyone is actually quite hilarious.
Glad to see you aren't caving in.

 
At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I knew my work at the VA on pharmacology would be useful, and it was. Not for the presentations, but for the contact with people at a VA psych hospital. I am now impervious and unperturbed by panhandlers asking for change and students demanding special considerations. Hey, I set the standards and you fail to meet them at your peril.

I don't get into details. However, if a student who acted in the way you described asked me for a reccomendation to medical school, I'd write "Student Z was in my class during [date]. He performed adequately. Damning with faint praise is so satisfying.

 
At 10:10 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

"Damning with faint praise is so satisfying"

That makes me giggle.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger sue said...

It's sad, isn't it?

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger academic coach said...

I want to make sure that this post gets in to "teaching carnival" - but I'm not sure how - Thanks for not being a Zombie collected the first one....

How about the classic med student's question: "Will this be on the test?"

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

How about the medical students having professional note takers. I took some classes with the medical students, and I didn't use the note taking service, and I scored higher than 95% of them on the exams. That irritates me.

 

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