Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Poetry, Dr. Phil, and Avoidance Strategies

Sometimes
I want
to
quit.
Everything.

There's my poem for the day.

On another note, sometimes when I'm bashing the illogical babble-speak that spews from Dr. Phil's mouth, that effusive little bastard, people ask me "what kind of doctor is he?"

Well, he got a PhD in clinical psychology...from the University of North Texas.

Then, he started a clinical practice...with his father.

Then, he left the practice to start a business advising lawyers how to pick jurors...using his expert "psychology" knowledge. He helped Oprah when she was being sued for saying that she was never going to eat beef again after the mad cow panic a few years ago.

Apparently now he wants to practice again...in an arena where he talks at his clients (the TV audience) rather than in a setting where he has to put forth a tremendous amount of effort absorbing what clients say and offering strategies, advice, etc. based on their individual experiences and needs and mental state. Generic, unsolicited self-help from a man who constantly contradicts himself is what I always dreamed to find on TV.

Ooooo, you can use this Dr. Phil Random quote generator if you need some morning advice from the wise one.

I got this one:
"You don't need endless supplies of avocados to pee in a monastery."

For some reason this morning, I'm really agitated by Dr. Phil.

Regardless, I must stain the last of my slides to see if our freezer breakdown ruined all of my remaining tissue. I've been putting it off for a few weeks now, dreading it.

You see, my anger at Dr. Phil is much more complex than it appears to be...it all can be traced to the freezer breakdown...

17 Comments:

At 8:21 AM, Blogger BrightStar said...

Dr. Phil sucks.

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger trisha said...

I like Dr. Phil.

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

That's OK, T. We're allowed to like different people and things--I still adore you:)

 
At 4:22 PM, Blogger Katie said...

Prior to going into a Ph.D program in the natural sciences I used to be a therapist, thus, Dr. Phil gets under my skin as well...

 
At 4:31 PM, Blogger B said...

Dr. Phil poo! He almost got his license revoked and I think he gives people the wrong idea about clinical psychologists in general! Down w/ Dr. Phil! I'm so sorry to hear about your freezer, what a disaster!

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Edie said...

My parents have told me this story so many times I wonder that I've never heard it anywhere else, but then again, maybe it isn't true. Apparently, "Dr. Phil" also used to be a guru as a young man, and would lead groups of people in meditation, sitting Indian-style. He claimed he had the ability to "sit-fly," and my dad told me he saw this for himself, Dr. Phil sitting on a rug, lifting his knees up and pretending to levitate.

Here's the quote I got: "You don't need feelings to steal your neighbor's porn."

 
At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Umm, I'm missing why the University of North Texas is a negative.

 
At 7:39 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Anonymous: It's not the university per se that is the negative--I have no idea what the quality of training was at the University of North Texas in the 1970's so I wouldn't comment on his training choices until I had that information. I was trying to point out, albeit not in an explicit manner, his pattern of microcosm living. This characteristic of his training and experience reflects in his advice, which often runs against core fundamental knowledge in psychiatry.

 
At 8:12 AM, Blogger shrinkykitten said...

He also did his diss in a really weird area -- like biofeedback or something?

Bitch magazine had a GREAT article on a recent episode of his (note: I hate him). It was supposedly all about helping women learn to love their bodies as it. Female empowerment! Woo hoo (howzabout then letting yer wifey have a life outside of your job?)! At the end, he awarded 3 women with boob jobs! ARGH!

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger 21st Century Mom said...

You just got aggravated with him this morning? I have been annoyed with Dr. "Knee Jerk" Phil ever since he had the temerity to market himself as Dr. Phil instead of Dr. WhaterverHisLastNameIs. ick.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Lina said...

I just got "You don't need a leisurely demeanor to enjoy my shiny bald head." Like it.

 
At 5:11 PM, Blogger Katie said...

My random quote: "You don't need lead poisoning to think for yourself." Just weird...

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger sue said...

I'm just going to sidestep all the Dr.Phil stuff and go straight to... WTF? YOU RUINED YOUR TISSUE??? Now, go sue the powers that be if it did. They should have backup freezers, generators, SOMETHING... :) ...getting off soapbox...

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Cheeky Prof said...

LOL about Dr. Phil. Still, he doesn't bother me that much. That's because I was so relieved when people stopped paying attention to what John Gray had to say about relationships (with his mail order PhD) that I didn't even care they were listening to Phil instead.

But, I'm definitely checking out that random quote thing!

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger truevyne said...

My quote random quote, "You don't need to watch my crappy show to join the circus."
I don't watch his show often but I like on the rare occasions I do. He's always repeating crazy thinking back to the person who just said it. It's a good tactic to use with my nutty family!

 
At 10:07 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

I have liked him on occasion but, mostly, I just get irritated with him....I'm sick and tired of him looking at a husband whose wife has a pill addiction and saying, "You are the leader of this household - you need to start leading!" While I don't disagree that the husband needs to do SOMETHING, he will also turn to a husband whose wife is sick and tired of HIS gambling problem and STILL say, "You are the leader of this household - you need to start leading!"

Give me a fucking break, Phil.

 
At 12:21 AM, Anonymous myonegodiam said...

I dont like the god thing.. god has a plan. I DONT BELIVE IN GOD WHAT ABOUT ME THEN!!?? But thats the only thing that bothers me. Who cares what type of phd he got or what he did in the seventees. The most of the stuff he teach works, thats all u need to know. Take what works 4 u leave the rest.To hate just to hate or that it is the "right" thing to do thats just stupid..
As Phil say "you can be right all u want but it wont get u anywere"

 

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