Sunday, April 30, 2006

Holy Crap, I Have No Lips

I decided I deserved a present.

I went to my local Bath & Body Works and bought some of my all-time favorite body lotion.
It's light and smells like honey and I love it.

I's way more than I would normally spend on lotion, but it smells so wonderful and makes your skin so silky smooth.

As I browsed through the store, I stumbled upon the mother load of most-wanted beauty items. Let the quest for non-invasive anti-aging treatments begin!

As I have no money and no job lined up, I couldn't really splurge on the entire line, but I did end up buying this. It was on sale, so I thought, "Why not?".

After my trip to the mall, I went home and resumed working on my thesis, which from now on, will be referred to as my "frucksis". If you think really hard, you'll understand. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I returned home and started typing away. I learned that an entire weekend of working results in one, almost-finished chapter, just in case you are wondering.

So, as I struggled over making negative data look sexy, I decided to try out my lip plumper. I applied it mostly to my lips--these things are difficult when you don't have a mirror. It didn't smell or taste funny, which was a plus.

Within minutes my lips started to feel plumper and then...then they didn't feel anything at all.

Numb. It made my lips feel like two little drunk blobs, passed out from a night of drinking on my face.

I ran upstairs to get a good look in the mirror. Placebo effect or real result, I couldn't really tell, but my lips looked...fuller. Amazing. It also made the skin around my lips where I had slopped on the plumper look a little different, but no matter.

Could the chemicals in this product be dangerous? Ummm, maybe. Is it insane to torture myself this way. Ummm, maybe. Was it worth it?


Everyone needs numb lips when they are trying to finish their frucksis.


At 9:28 AM, Blogger Katie said...

I love Bath and Body Works products overall! I have to say, that I have bought Lip Venom at Sephora and well, it makes my lips tingly, but not numb. Maybe I will try this other product for curiosity sake? Numb lips should prove to be interesting...

At 9:45 AM, Blogger post-doc said...

I just bought Mentha Lip Tint from Bath and Body Works last week! Did you see the sweetest, softest bathrobe ever?! I have that too - love, love, love it. Anyway, the numbness sounds interesting, but I'm going with warm and tingly from the peppermint oil in my new purchase.

Good luck with the frucksis.

At 10:09 AM, Blogger shrinkykitten said...

the mentha stuff totally rocks - and it's tasty too!

I tried lip injection by too faced (a sample from sephora; I love samples). It made my lips HUGE and red - I loved it so much. But, sadly, your lips become inured to it and don't work after the first or second time - even if you try to "exfoliate" your lips, as they tell you. Hugely hugely disappointing.

At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I talked to Katie last week about this and women do the most crazy things.
What from belly button piercing to nipple piercing.

Crazy man.

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

I support you in your quest. But I just had a tooth filled last week, and that awful numb feeling has me all eegy still. Plus I already have an awfully big mouth, so I'm afraid I'd end up looking like Goldie Hawn in that movie. (Or just about any American actress at this moment.)

At 9:28 AM, Blogger she falters to rise said...

Yesterday I put it on twice because I am intent on doing some sort of experiment with this stuff. Like, if I put it on my rump, would I have a plumper rump? A plumper rump is not something that I need, but it's the only place that I'm willing to test things out on just in case something bad happens to my skin...I haven't tried it yet, I'm just thinking about all of the possibilities.

At 2:53 PM, Blogger phu said...

thanks for the useful tips.
check on google for “cast spells radionics software”


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