Holy Crap, I Have No Lips
I decided I deserved a present.
I went to my local Bath & Body Works and bought some of my all-time favorite body lotion.
It's light and smells like honey and I love it.
I know...it's way more than I would normally spend on lotion, but it smells so wonderful and makes your skin so silky smooth.
As I browsed through the store, I stumbled upon the mother load of most-wanted beauty items. Let the quest for non-invasive anti-aging treatments begin!
As I have no money and no job lined up, I couldn't really splurge on the entire line, but I did end up buying this. It was on sale, so I thought, "Why not?".
After my trip to the mall, I went home and resumed working on my thesis, which from now on, will be referred to as my "frucksis". If you think really hard, you'll understand. Where was I? Oh, yeah. I returned home and started typing away. I learned that an entire weekend of working results in one, almost-finished chapter, just in case you are wondering.
So, as I struggled over making negative data look sexy, I decided to try out my lip plumper. I applied it mostly to my lips--these things are difficult when you don't have a mirror. It didn't smell or taste funny, which was a plus.
Within minutes my lips started to feel plumper and then...then they didn't feel anything at all.
Numb. It made my lips feel like two little drunk blobs, passed out from a night of drinking on my face.
I ran upstairs to get a good look in the mirror. Placebo effect or real result, I couldn't really tell, but my lips looked...fuller. Amazing. It also made the skin around my lips where I had slopped on the plumper look a little different, but no matter.
Could the chemicals in this product be dangerous? Ummm, maybe. Is it insane to torture myself this way. Ummm, maybe. Was it worth it?
Everyone needs numb lips when they are trying to finish their frucksis.